Author Archives: Anne Barker

Making Time For Acts Of Love

People often say you can tell what’s important to someone by scanning a few lines of their checkbook. Yeah, there’s a certain truth to that, but I think an even more telling reveal of a person’s priorities are the items … Continue reading

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Needy Isn’t Sexy: Are You Pushing Your Partner Further Away?

We’ve all been there. Well, maybe not all of us. But more of us than you might think. Here’s what happens: Our partner starts to spend more time at work, or more time out with friends, leaving us home alone … Continue reading

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Posted in Communication, Hitch Fix, Relationships | Leave a comment

It’s Time To Get Real In Your Relationship

“I don’t like how I behave when I’m with my partner.” “I don’t know who I am anymore.” “I’ve sacrificed too much in this relationship.” In my work with couples, I’ve heard so many people say these words, or something … Continue reading

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Me Too

I can be a bit of a complainer. I complain about lots of things – my work, my relatives, the weather, my Senator – and I’m gonna stop right there so we don’t get into a nasty political argument. You get … Continue reading

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Posted in Authenticity, Community, Out Of My Mind | 4 Comments

Feeling Bad About Feeling Bad

I was recently thumbing through my journal from last year and came across an entry that gave me pause. I wrote this entry while on vacation at our family cabin in Colorado, and the gave-me-pause part was that I was … Continue reading

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Posted in Authenticity, Letting Go, Out Of My Mind | Leave a comment

You Go First: Heroic Relationship Change

Do you know the number one killer of relationship change and growth in my practice? It’s when both partners say, in some fashion: “I’ll change when he/she changes.” Think about this for a minute. What’s the likely outcome of this … Continue reading

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The Gift Of A Long-Term Partnership

So I was on my way home from an educational conference, waiting in line at the Starbucks in the North Satellite terminal at SEA-TAC. The food area – in fact the entire terminal – was quite crowded, and the long … Continue reading

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Posted in Hitch Fix, Relationships | 2 Comments

Finding Shared Meaning In Holiday Conflict

I wanted the multi-colored lights. I didn’t want to discuss it; I just desperately wanted multi-colored lights on the tree. In my family, we always used multi-colored lights. And strung popcorn-cranberry chains. And placed an angel on the top. I … Continue reading

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Posted in Hitch Fix, Relationships | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #6: The Kids Come First

I don’t know how to type out the sound that the “You’re wrong!” buzzer makes on a game show (your creative suggestions are welcome in the comments below), but if I did, I would have started out this blog with … Continue reading

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Posted in Hitch Fix, marriage myths | 2 Comments

20 Ways To Take The Edge Off Your Election Overload

I had a few minutes to kill before an appointment this morning and, as is my way, I immediately pulled up Facebook and started scanning my home page for election news. I realized when I did this that I’ve been … Continue reading

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Posted in Anxiety, Fear, Stress | 6 Comments