Author Archives: Anne Barker

It’s Time To Get Real In Your Relationship

“I don’t like how I behave when I’m with my partner.” “I don’t know who I am anymore.” “I’ve sacrificed too much in this relationship.” In my work with couples, I’ve heard so many people say these words, or something … Continue reading

Posted in Authenticity, Hitch Fix, Relationships | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Me Too

I can be a bit of a complainer. I complain about lots of things – my work, my relatives, the weather, my Senator – and I’m gonna stop right there so we don’t get into a nasty political argument. You get … Continue reading

Posted in Authenticity, Community, Out Of My Mind | 4 Comments

Feeling Bad About Feeling Bad

I was recently thumbing through my journal from last year and came across an entry that gave me pause. I wrote this entry while on vacation at our family cabin in Colorado, and the gave-me-pause part was that I was … Continue reading

Posted in Authenticity, Letting Go, Out Of My Mind | Leave a comment

You Go First: Heroic Relationship Change

Do you know the number one killer of relationship change and growth in my practice? It’s when both partners say, in some fashion: “I’ll change when he/she changes.” Think about this for a minute. What’s the likely outcome of this … Continue reading

Posted in Hitch Fix, Relationships, The Change Process | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Gift Of A Long-Term Partnership

So I was on my way home from an educational conference, waiting in line at the Starbucks in the North Satellite terminal at SEA-TAC. The food area – in fact the entire terminal – was quite crowded, and the long … Continue reading

Posted in Hitch Fix, Relationships | 2 Comments

Finding Shared Meaning In Holiday Conflict

I wanted the multi-colored lights. I didn’t want to discuss it; I just desperately wanted multi-colored lights on the tree. In my family, we always used multi-colored lights. And strung popcorn-cranberry chains. And placed an angel on the top. I … Continue reading

Posted in Hitch Fix, Relationships | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #6: The Kids Come First

I don’t know how to type out the sound that the “You’re wrong!” buzzer makes on a game show (your creative suggestions are welcome in the comments below), but if I did, I would have started out this blog with … Continue reading

Posted in Hitch Fix, marriage myths | 2 Comments

20 Ways To Take The Edge Off Your Election Overload

I had a few minutes to kill before an appointment this morning and, as is my way, I immediately pulled up Facebook and started scanning my home page for election news. I realized when I did this that I’ve been … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Fear, Stress | 6 Comments

Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #5: We Can’t Survive An Affair

Okay, we’re gonna take on a big topic here, so gird your loins. Reliable statistics on affairs are understandably hard to come by (would YOU tell that truth on a survey?), but most point to the rate of infidelity having … Continue reading

Posted in Hitch Fix, Relationships | Leave a comment

Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #4: The Right Relationship Should Be Easy

Cautionary Tale #1 The couple had been married for many years, and their long relationship had witnessed and supported several geographical moves, the raising of five awesome children and two career changes. Despite the longevity, dependability (and productivity!) of their … Continue reading

Posted in Hitch Fix, marriage myths, Relationships | Leave a comment