What Little Word Could Lead To BIG Relationship Problems?

relationship problemsOkay, I’m not going to keep you in suspense. The word is “but.” And, yes, it can lead to BIG relationship problems. Read on.

Newsflash: Most of us are not great listeners.

Oh sure, we incline our heads in each other’s direction, show great eye-contact and even mutter a helpful “uh huh” here and there. We put on a really good show. Or at least I know I do. After all, I get a lot of practice, being as it’s my job and all.

But behind this attentive façade is a virtual mind-field of narcissistic thoughts that distract us from really listening . . . so many, in fact, that most of us end up listening, not in order to understand, but in order to respond.

And by respond I mean rebut. As in oppose.

So that doesn’t work, right? Because if our goal is to come up with a good rebuttal to our partner’s position, in effect to win the argument, then how can we truly be listening to them? Enter BIG relationship problems . . .

[This post is an excerpt from an article I originally wrote for YourTango.com. Click here to read the entire piece! ]

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