Category Archives: Relationships

You Go First: Heroic Relationship Change

Do you know the number one killer of relationship change and growth in my practice? It’s when both partners say, in some fashion: “I’ll change when he/she changes.” Think about this for a minute. What’s the likely outcome of this … Continue reading

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The Gift Of A Long-Term Partnership

So I was on my way home from an educational conference, waiting in line at the Starbucks in the North Satellite terminal at SEA-TAC. The food area – in fact the entire terminal – was quite crowded, and the long … Continue reading

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Finding Shared Meaning In Holiday Conflict

I wanted the multi-colored lights. I didn’t want to discuss it; I just desperately wanted multi-colored lights on the tree. In my family, we always used multi-colored lights. And strung popcorn-cranberry chains. And placed an angel on the top. I … Continue reading

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Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #5: We Can’t Survive An Affair

Okay, we’re gonna take on a big topic here, so gird your loins. Reliable statistics on affairs are understandably hard to come by (would YOU tell that truth on a survey?), but most point to the rate of infidelity having … Continue reading

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Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #4: The Right Relationship Should Be Easy

Cautionary Tale #1 The couple had been married for many years, and their long relationship had witnessed and supported several geographical moves, the raising of five awesome children and two career changes. Despite the longevity, dependability (and productivity!) of their … Continue reading

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Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #2: Compatibility Is Key

Birds of a feather flock together. Well that may be true in the avian world but, sadly, it doesn’t always work out that way in the land of long-term, committed relationships. Okay, I’ll give you this: it may be true … Continue reading

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After A Fight – Request A “Do-Over”

Conflict is a given in any long-term relationship, right? And by now most of us know there are different ways to handle conflict, some helpful and some not so much. And, for the most part, we’re really trying to learn … Continue reading

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3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Click On This Relationship Post

Oh, shoot! You’ve gone and done it already! Ah well. May as well keep reading. You’ve just clicked on what’s known in the blogging world as a “list post” or “listicle.” A list post is an article in a list … Continue reading

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Overheard: The Worst Relationship Advice EVER (Not)

“What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever heard?” I was attending a conference on teaching relationship skills with about a hundred other professionals, the majority of us therapists, and this question from our trainer was our introduction to the topic. … Continue reading

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What Little Word Could Lead To BIG Relationship Problems?

Okay, I’m not going to keep you in suspense. The word is “but.” And, yes, it can lead to BIG relationship problems. Read on. Newsflash: Most of us are not great listeners. Oh sure, we incline our heads in each … Continue reading

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