Category Archives: Hitch Fix

You Go First: Heroic Relationship Change

Do you know the number one killer of relationship change and growth in my practice? It’s when both partners say, in some fashion: “I’ll change when he/she changes.” Think about this for a minute. What’s the likely outcome of this … Continue reading

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The Gift Of A Long-Term Partnership

So I was on my way home from an educational conference, waiting in line at the Starbucks in the North Satellite terminal at SEA-TAC. The food area – in fact the entire terminal – was quite crowded, and the long … Continue reading

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Finding Shared Meaning In Holiday Conflict

I wanted the multi-colored lights. I didn’t want to discuss it; I just desperately wanted multi-colored lights on the tree. In my family, we always used multi-colored lights. And strung popcorn-cranberry chains. And placed an angel on the top. I … Continue reading

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Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #6: The Kids Come First

I don’t know how to type out the sound that the “You’re wrong!” buzzer makes on a game show (your creative suggestions are welcome in the comments below), but if I did, I would have started out this blog with … Continue reading

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Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #5: We Can’t Survive An Affair

Okay, we’re gonna take on a big topic here, so gird your loins. Reliable statistics on affairs are understandably hard to come by (would YOU tell that truth on a survey?), but most point to the rate of infidelity having … Continue reading

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Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #4: The Right Relationship Should Be Easy

Cautionary Tale #1 The couple had been married for many years, and their long relationship had witnessed and supported several geographical moves, the raising of five awesome children and two career changes. Despite the longevity, dependability (and productivity!) of their … Continue reading

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Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #3: The First Years Are The Best

My husband and I recently visited my alma mater for my 30th reunion. (Yes, that says 30th, and I assure you that I am as shocked by that high number as I hope you are.) Now, it just so happens … Continue reading

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Marriage Myth-Busters Myth #2: Compatibility Is Key

Birds of a feather flock together. Well that may be true in the avian world but, sadly, it doesn’t always work out that way in the land of long-term, committed relationships. Okay, I’ll give you this: it may be true … Continue reading

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Marriage Myth Busters Myth #1: Falling In Love Is Enough

This “falling in love” myth is the Disney promise, right? The one we cut our romantic teeth on when we were young. It goes something like this: There is a One True Love out there for everyone, so I will … Continue reading

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After A Fight – Request A “Do-Over”

Conflict is a given in any long-term relationship, right? And by now most of us know there are different ways to handle conflict, some helpful and some not so much. And, for the most part, we’re really trying to learn … Continue reading

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